BODY POSITIVITY IN ACTION
Thank you to the reader who submitted the following question via Facebook:
"I am a young, cis, white, thin woman. I understand that gives me privilege. How can I best wield that privilege to support body positivity? I know this is a big question."
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This is an awesome question, and indeed there are a lot of answers! Since body positivity is usually weight-acceptance focused, I'm going to start there. On my Facebook page, I posed the question to my friends in larger bodies as to how thin people can be good allies. Within a matter of hours, there were 40 comments with dozens of likes on some comments- this was a question that was ready to be asked!
The answers, some of which are quoted below, centered around a several core themes; one, talk less about how bodies look. Two, everyone has the right to bodily autonomy. Three, fatness, beauty, and good health can and do coexist. And four, acknowledge, respect, and take into account that it is different to live in the world in a larger body. Click here to see the full thread.
TALK LESS ABOUT HOW BODIES LOOK
Body talk is for the bin. Discussing insecurities and the pressure to live up to impossible beauty standards are all fair game but specifically pointing out body parts as "wrong" or elevating one type of body over another is where things can get really dicey.
"Don't diss your own body. When a small person talks about how they feel fat or overweight and therefore unattractive, the logical conclusion for me is that my larger body must be really gross to them. " -Kati
"Don't gossip about people's weight. Understand that complimenting weight loss is a tricky thing because it reinforces the relationship between self worth, attractiveness, and weight. Don't body shame anyone, even people who are terrible. You aren't just shaming them, you are shaming everyone with a similar body type. This goes for thin people too. Don’t call thin people "anorexic" as a pejorative. Call out body shaming when you see it." -Joe
"Don't talk about your diet and exercise routine all the time like it's the goal of every woman all the time to be losing weight. There are other things to talk about than what you eat." -Laura
EVERYONE HAS THE RIGHT TO BODILY AUTONOMY
Whether that be to diet, to stop dieting, to get plastic surgery, to take up a new sport, to fully tattoo their body, pursue health behaviors, not to pursue health behaviors, etc. everyone has the right to bodily autonomy and to make whatever decisions they please about their bodies without criticism or judgement from others.
"Don’t offer advice unless asked." -Ana
"Not every fat person’s main objectives in life are to lose weight, diet, fit in with 'norms,' etc." -Marta
"Patience. When I discuss a new thing I'm trying (keto, LCHF, IF, right now it's time-restricted eating) just listen. No advice. No scolding." -Sonya
FAT =/= UNATTRACTIVE OR UNHEALTHY
This one speaks for itself.
"Stop the connection between fat and pretty. They coexist." -Claire
"Instead of using the phrase "I feel fat" use "I feel insecure about my body"." -Kat
"Tell me "you look great" rather than "you've lost weight."" -Tracy
"Disconnect “healthy” from weight. Don’t say “I’ve gained so much weight I need to get healthy again.” You want your weight within a certain range of pounds, not a certain value of health." -Amber
"Stop saying shit like "youre not *fat*, you're beautiful" as if those things were mutually exclusive." -Sandhya
IT IS DIFFERENT TO LIVE IN THE WORLD IN A LARGER BODY
Trying not to see that it's a different experience living in the world in a larger body, or making harmful assumptions about said bodies, does people a great disservice.
"Don't tell me I am lucky to have such cute clothes especially after we have been to 7 stores together that nothing except accessories will fit me. Also know that I am charged more money for my clothing by most retailers.” -Lacy
“Think about a place you are asking me to go will they have flimsy furniture that makes me feel uncomfortable, will I have to sit on a floor for a long time which is also uncomfortable? My body might not fit in a place built for smaller people." -Lacy
"Chairs that are too small, being expected to squeeze through gaps between tables or whatever that aren't even big enough for me if I turn sideways.... On top of being physically uncomfortable it can just be embarrassing." -Alice
"Don't assume my weight means I'm lazy. Don't assume my weight means I *can't* do something physically that you can do, and remember it might *look* different on me. For business owners ... for the love of everything, please utilize armless furniture." -Stephanie
There have been so many great articles on these topics. I would like to link to some of my favorites to dig deeper into the intersection of gender, race, body size and age in body positivity:
What is Ageism and Why Should I Care? plus 5 Examples of Everyday Ageism
Fat Phobia Affects Everyone takes a look at how weight bias is based in racism. I also highly recommend this podcast, which explores this concept further with sociologist Sabrina Strings, author of Fearing The Black Body.
At The Intersection of Fat and Trans, plus this podcast which explores disordered eating and gender identity in an interview with psychologist and trans-health educator Sand Chang.
5 Ways People with Thin Privilege Can Fight Body Terrorism plus What I Appreciate Most from My Thinner Friends